


Helping Hand

by chaosgroupie



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Light BDSM, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Porn with Feelings, Spanking, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:21:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23668297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaosgroupie/pseuds/chaosgroupie
Summary: Megan is a romance writer who is best friends with Bucky. Her publisher complains her sex scenes are boring, so even though they are just friends, Bucky offers to help her out.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 90





	1. Lesson One - Build Up

“Ugh,” I sighed as I slammed my laptop shut, shoving it off my lap and onto the large fluffy couch. Staring out the window, I pouted, angry at myself for not being able to fix the sex scene in my novel. My publisher loved everything about my current book… except for the sex scenes.

A soft kiss was placed to the top of my head, hands digging into my shoulders. Feeling Bucky’s cool metal fingers touching the flesh of my neck, I sighed into his ministrations, letting my head fall forward to my chest. “What’s wrong, Meg?”

“They hate my story,” I groaned, shoving my computer further away from me.

Jumping over the back of the couch, Bucky sat down next to me, reaching over my legs and picking up the laptop. “Somehow I don’t think they hate it.”

“They do.” When he opened my laptop up, I glared at him. “What’re you doing?”

“I’m gonna see what they said.” Without looking at the screen, he raised an eyebrow at me. “Why? Do you not want me to see?”

Bucky already knew the types of stories I wrote. Everyone at the compound did. Before I had sold my first book, Natasha had convinced Tony to let me move in so I could focus solely on writing. By the time I had money coming in, I’d become friends with everyone so it was like I was a part of their family. Albeit, a non-kickass family member. All I was good for was cookies and goulash.

“Just read it. I know you won’t stop hounding me until you do.” I stared straight ahead pensively until he’d finished reading the email from my publisher.

“What do they mean by ‘the sex scenes are boring’?”

“I don’t know,” I whined, unable to keep the irritation out of my voice. “If I knew what the problem was, don’t you think I would have been able to fix it by now?”

“Want me to read it?”

When he asked that, I felt my face flush. Natasha, Wanda, and Pepper had read my stuff because they’re girls so it didn’t feel weird. But the guys… they’d all stayed far away from my novels considering I wrote fluffy romances. And having my best friend read them, it kind of felt like he would be going through my underwear drawer. But if he could help… I sighed, “If you want to.”

Handing me back the laptop, he commanded, “Go to where the problem is. I’ll read it and let you know what I think.”

Opening the word document, I scrolled to the chapter with the first major sex scene that the publisher had a problem with and handed it back. Then I stood and looked down at him. “I’m just going to go do something somewhere else while you read.”

Bucky didn’t reply, eyes trained on the screen, already working through the scene. So I went into the kitchen, standing behind the granite island. All I could do was watch him while he read my story. This was more nerve-wracking than my first book signing. He’d never read anything of mine before, or at least he never admitted to it, so it would kill something inside of me if he hated it. It’s like when you tell someone their kid is ugly.

The worse thing was that I had a crush on my best friend. I had ever since I moved into the compound, long before we became such good friends. When Natasha introduced me to everyone, the first thing I noticed about Bucky was his sparkling blue eyes, then his killer smile, and the metal arm that was so gentle with me and everyone else. With his shaggy dark brown hair, the lightness of his eyes stood out even more. It probably didn’t help that he was built like a Greek god, big and muscular, not to mention hotter than Hades. But he never treated me like anything other than a friend. More like a little sister. In the beginning it drove me nuts, but I’d gotten used to having him as only a friend.

After several long minutes - the sex scene wasn’t that long - Bucky looked up and beckoned me over. I shuffled my way back to the couch, standing in front of him with my hands behind my back, gaze trained on the floor. God, I wanted him to love it, but I knew from the frown on his face that it wasn’t good. “Just tell me, Buck. Rip it off like a bandaid. I can take it.”

“It’s… it’s not bad,” he said hesitantly.

“But…”

“It’s not good either.” Holding up a hand, he cut off any reply I might have made. “Your writing style is impeccable, but I see why they said the sex was boring. It’s just… it lacks a certain  _ je ne sais quoi,  _ lacks oomph. It’s a little vanilla.”

Flopping down onto the couch, I transferred my gaze from the floor to the ceiling. “Fuck, Bucky. I don’t know what to do. God, I haven’t been…” Gulping, I paused, not wanting to finish the sentence. Just to get it out, I babbled, “I haven’t been laid in longer than I can remember. And my ex liked it one way, missionary. I don’t know how to make it… sexier.”

The sound of the laptop shutting had me looking over at him and he had this look on his face, almost as if he were contemplating something. “I could find you someone to experiment with,” he offered.

“Thanks, but no thanks. The last thing I need is a pity fuck.” That sounded like a horrible idea. Besides, all of Bucky’s friends either lived in the compound or were the SHIELD agents they sometimes went on missions with.

He had his thinking face back on, the one he made when he was seriously considering something. That usually meant he was going to do something either incredibly stupid or incredibly dangerous. “How about I help?”

“What… the… fuck?” I choked out, trying not to laugh. As much as I wanted him, sleeping with someone that treated me like a little sister was bad on so many levels. “I’m not sleeping with you, Bucky. That is a bad idea on so many levels”

He started laughing, falling against the back cushions of the couch, flesh arm coming up and resting against his left pectoral muscle. “Megan, kid, I’m not offering to fuck you.”

“Then what exactly are you offering?” My arms crossed over my chest as I gave him my best what-the-fuck expression. “Cause I’m not sure how you could possibly help.”

“Well, I’m no simpering virgin…”

I interrupted him. “Yeah, no shit. I’ve seen the women you bring back to your room, Barnes.” Even though it had been a few months since the last time he brought someone over, it still hurt something inside me every time he did. That’s the only reason I even noticed the women because it’s not like they hung out with everyone, they just showed up on his arm late at night and left before breakfast the next day.

Glaring at me, he just continued, “I can help you come up with ideas to make it better. If nothing else, I can help you come up with positions and stuff.”

Sighing, I rubbed my eyes. “That’s not the problem.”

“Then what is?”

“I don’t… Fuck, Bucky, I’m not as experienced as you, okay?” I laid a hand over my face to hide my red cheeks. “I can imagine positions all day long, but I don’t know if they’re possible, let alone what they would feel like.”

“Hmm…”

He took so long to respond that I cracked my fingers and looked over at him, surprised at the serious look on his face. Moving my hand completely, I muttered, “It’s fine. I’ll just… watch some porn or something.”

“Let me help,” he said softly. “I can show you how the positions will feel…” My face must have looked shocked, because he quickly added, “We’re not having sex. Fuck, Meg, we’ll be fully clothed, I promise. I can just help you figure out what’s realistic and what’s not. That’s what friends are for, right?”

“Bucky,” I muttered, but he laid a hand over my mouth, silencing me.

“Megan, you’re my best friend. Let me do something for you.” He looked me straight in the eyes, looking more serious than he had in a very long time. “You helped me when I was having all those nightmares after we went to Siberia, back to where they made me… him. Let me help you with this. It will be a lot easier than dealing with my maudlin ass after not sleeping for a week.”

“Are you sure?” I whispered.

Standing, he held out his hand to me, pulling me up when I took it. “Come on. Let’s try it out and see if it will work.” He pulled me out of the living room and down the hall toward the bedrooms. Once we got to his mini-apartment, he opened it and dragged me inside. After the door was shut and locked, he kicked off his shoes, eyeing me up until I did this same. Then he looked me up and down slowly, sending a sudden flush of arousal through my body. “Leggings and a t-shirt will work this time. Maybe next time you can wear shorts and a tank top, give yourself a little more room to move around in.” He glanced down at what he was wearing. “However, I’m going to stay in jeans.”

Shuffling my feet, I stood there awkwardly, not sure what to do. He sighed and held out his hand, waiting for me to take it. Once I did, he pulled me gently through the apartment to the couch and sat down. Spreading his legs slightly, he plastered a cheeky grin on his face. “First step to a good sex scene, the build-up.” He reached out and grabbed my other hand, drawing me between his legs until I fell forward, my face inches from his. “Straddle me, sweetheart.”

“Sweetheart?” My voice cracked, so I cleared my throat before murmuring, “Buck, I thought we were gonna keep this clinical.”

“Trust me, sweetheart. I’m setting the ambiance.” He forcefully lifted a leg onto the couch on one side of his hips, then the other one. I stayed up high enough that I wasn’t sitting on him, but he was having none of it. Gripping my hips, he tugged me down until my pussy was pressed directly to his pelvis. “There, that’s better.” Lifting his flesh hand, he cupped my cheek and for a moment I forgot how to breathe. His fingers trailed over my cheek, tangling in my hair and drawing my face forward. He stopped just before my lips touched his. “Normally, this is where you’d kiss the person, but we’re not gonna do that.”

I had to swallow a moan. All I wanted to do was rub my aching clit against him, but I wasn’t willing to push this any further than he took it. But when he moved his lips to my neck, pressing a soft kiss to the skin there, I couldn’t help myself, I moved my hips slightly. “Yes, baby girl, just like that.” With his metal hand, he gripped my hip, moving me a little harder as his tongue darted out and licked my neck. “It’s all about letting yourself feel… letting yourself enjoy the moment. If your readers can tell that your character is enjoying themselves, it won’t matter if it’s not kinky.”

When I felt him growing hard beneath my movements, I stopped and pulled my head away so I could look at him. “Buck,” I murmured, “what…?”

He just shrugged. “I’ve got a pretty girl in my lap, it’s bound to happen. It’s a natural reaction to what we’re doing. My brain and my dick don’t always communicate.” Tapping a finger under my chin, he said, “If it makes you uncomfortable, we can stop. We can stop this whenever you want, Meg. Just say the word. I just want to help you get your groove for writing.”

Closing my eyes, I managed to hide the disappointment I felt, not letting it creep into my voice. “It doesn’t bother me,” I lied. “It’s a thing that happens. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t uncomfortable.” I could feel myself getting wetter by the second, but I was thankful that arousal on a woman was easier to hide.

“Then let’s get back to the lesson.” He moved me back and forth until a moan escaped from my lips. “See… practice those sounds. Have your character do exactly that.” When I took over the movements, he dropped his mouth back to my neck, sucking and nibbling on the sensitive flesh right beneath my ear. Each time my clit rasped over his hard cock through his jeans, it sent a jolt of pleasure straight through me and I moaned again, my breathing becoming more and more ragged with every pass. “God, sweetheart, you’re so fucking gorgeous,” he murmured against my neck. “I just wanna make you feel so good.”

I groaned, lifting my hands to his hair, digging my fingers in and grasping tight. “Bucky,” I moaned.

He lifted his head and stared into my eyes, both hands on my hips now, moving them back and forth across his pelvis. “Just think about how this would make your character feel. What would she do?” Grinning, his tongue darted out between his lips, wetting them slightly. “Would she reach up, cupping her perfect tits? Would she rub her thumbs over her nipples, moaning as they ran over the hard little nubs?” Continuing to move me across his lap, he added, “Try it out. See what feels right.”

I did as he suggested, trailing my hands up my torso to my breasts, cursing the fact that I hadn’t worn a bra. Lazing about the compound, I didn’t normally bother with things like underwear or bras. I wore leggings, so underwear wasn’t necessary, and my breasts were only a handful, so I didn’t need a bra to keep them in place. When my thumbs grazed over my achingly hard nipples, I hissed through my teeth. God, if we were doing this for real, I would take off my shirt and draw his head down so he could suck on a nipple. As it was, his hard cock rubbed against my sopping pussy with every stroke, the coarseness of his jeans making my clit thrum with each pass. I couldn’t take the stimulation from rubbing my clit and my nipples, so I moved my hands from under my shirt to his shoulders.

“Think about your character, rubbing against her lover's hard cock just like this.” He released my hips, grinning when I kept moving. Sliding his hands under my shirt, he stopped right below my ribcage. “This okay, sweetheart?” I nodded and he continued up until he cupped my breasts, the contrast between his metal hand and calloused flesh hand sending shivers down my spine. His voice came out hoarser than it had before. “Her lover would take off her shirt, taking her nipples between his fingers, rolling and pinching slightly.” When he did that, I had to swallow a guttural moan. “He would kiss her hard as she rubbed against him, growing closer and closer to orgasm.”

God, I was so close. His deep gravelly voice had always turned me on, but it seemed even deeper than normal. Closing my eyes, I tried to pretend that he felt something for me other than friendship. That the reason we were doing this was that we were dating. That he wanted me as much as I wanted him.

One of his hands left my shirt and grabbed the back of my head, bringing my face closer to his, but I kept my eyes shut, not wanting to see the look on his face. “Your character’s lover would want to hear her scream his name, would want to make her feel good. I’m gonna pretend you and I are the characters for a bit, okay?” I mumbled an affirmative, managing to not sound too needy. His lips went right by my ear and he growled, “God, Meg, you look so good riding my cock like this, your cheeks flush with arousal. Do you know what I want?” His fingers pinched my nipple a little tighter and I moaned loudly. “Fuck, Meg. Come for me. God, come for me.”

My body stiffened at his words, pussy spasming as I came. I think I managed to hide the fact that I was orgasming, but my heart was pounding so hard I felt like it was going to burst out of my chest, my breathing quick and shallow. When I opened my eyes again, he stopped moving me, his hand leaving my shirt. Tilting my head down, he pressed a kiss to my forehead. His voice came out even as he asked, “Do you think that will help get the scene started?”

The scene. Fuck. I had forgotten all about the reason we were doing this was for my writing. Swallowing hard, I had to clear my throat so I didn’t sound like I’d just come from grinding against his still hard cock. “Yeah, I think that helped. Thanks.” I staggered off his lap, then rubbed a hand over my face. “I’m just gonna… go. Yeah, I’m gonna go and start writing.” My words came out fast. “Yup, writing. That’s what I’m going to do.” I smiled and then left his apartment, heading a few doors down to mine.

Once I was in my space, I leaned back against the door and groaned. Fuck, I’d come rubbing myself on Bucky’s cock. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I can’t believe I did that. God, I hope he didn’t notice. This was such a bad idea. All it did was make it harder for me to think of him without picturing myself fucking him. Maybe I could manage to convince him that I didn’t need any more help. To be honest, I was finally feeling like I could write something sexy. It would probably just be a play-by-play of what we just did, but at least I knew it would be hot. Something that would make my publishers happy. The only problem with continuing to do this with him is I was terrified of falling for him. Oh, who was I kidding? I’d been in love with my best friend for longer than I cared to admit. This was just bringing all those buried feelings to the surface.


	2. Lesson Two - Positions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because this story reached 69 hits, which made me giggle, here is chapter two. I hope you enjoy.

Sitting on the couch, I stared at the blinking cursor on my laptop screen, willing inspiration to hit. I’d managed to take what Bucky and I had done and draft that up, but in the two days since, I’d been unable to write a single word. The sad thing was that I couldn’t stop thinking about what we had done. I even started wearing a pair of loose shorts - with underwear - and a tank top in case he suggested we try again. Hoping that he would suggest we try again.

Closing my laptop, I sighed. When my phone dinged, I jumped slightly, not expecting anyone to text me. When people were home, they knew that I always wrote on the couch in the living room so they would just find me if they needed me, and when they weren’t home they were too busy to text unless it was important. To be honest, there usually wasn't anything important enough for them to text me unless it was to get medical supplies for a specific injury. Picking up the device, I saw a text from Bucky.  _ Ready for lesson 2? _

The thought of doing anything with him again sent a flood of pleasure coursing through me. Fuck, what did I do? As much as my body wanted this, I was terrified doing it again would destroy our friendship. It took me so long to formulate a response, Bucky texted again.  _ Meg? _

Fuck it. I text him back.  _ When? _

_ My room. 5 min.  _ Another text followed quickly.  _ Be in character. _

Picking up my laptop, I walked slowly through the compound, nodding when I passed by the others. If they said anything, I didn’t notice, I was too focused on what was to come. After dropping my computer off in my bedroom, I ambled toward Bucky’s door, praying I didn’t run into anyone. Luckily, the hallway between our rooms was empty as I knocked on his door.

Bucky opened it, blocking my entrance. “How are you doing, Meg?”

“Fine,” I muttered.

Reaching out, he tilted my head up, forcing me to look at him. “Are you sure? We don’t have to do this if it feels weird.” Mouth curving into a gentle smile, he elaborated, “Best friends, remember? I don’t want to do anything to make you feel uneasy. All I want is to help you come up with ideas for your writing.”

Taking a breath, I forced myself to sound confident. “Let’s do this.”

“Before you enter, I want you to do something for me.” When I raised an eyebrow, he chuckled. “Not like that, silly girl. I just want you to be in character, to react the way you think she would. Don’t overthink anything, just practice the moans, gasps, touching… those things you think she would do. That will make it easier when you’re writing scenes later. Can you do that for me?” I nodded and he seemed to relax. “Good. Come on in.”

Once the door was closed and locked, he stood a couple of feet from me, slowly roving his eyes up and down my body, tongue darting out to moisten his lips. His voice sounded husky when he spoke. “Only two more things and we can get started. One, no kissing. You’re my friend and we should keep this as clinical as we can. Two, I’m going to stay in character too. So it’s not going to be like last time where I was talking about what the characters would do, I’m just gonna do it.” Take a step closer, he added, “If at any time you want to stop, just say the word and we’ll stop.”

“Okay,” I responded firmly, knowing that’s what he was looking for.

A grin crossed over his face and he stalked toward me, backing me against a wall, his hands on either side of my head. Leaning down, his lips were a hair's breadth from mine, but he stuck to his word and didn’t kiss my mouth, instead, pressing them to my jaw and then moving them down to my neck in a series of featherlight kisses. Reaching down with his metal arm, he grabbed my hand and brought it up above my head, twining his fingers with mine and holding it against the wall. Then he grabbed the other and put it behind the first, capturing them both with his large hand so I couldn’t move.

My heart was pounding, my pussy aching for something… anything… to fill it. As he sucked a small chunk of my neck into his mouth, his flesh hand trailed down the side of my torso to my hip, then tentatively moved over to the front of my pelvis, fingers too high to touch anything. “Bucky,” I moaned, spreading my legs slightly.

When his hand drifted between my thighs, palm pressing hard against my core, I stifled a moan and he lifted his head from my neck. Placing his lips at my ear, he growled a command, “Don’t hide those sounds from me, sweetheart. I want to hear every moan and gasp.” He rubbed his palm back and forth, mouth still at my ear. “Do you want my fingers, baby girl? Do you want me to insert them deep into your dripping pussy?”

“Fuck,” I groaned, lost in the feeling of his hand on me. Even though he was on top of my shorts, it felt so good I couldn’t help but move against him.

“This is what I’d do,” he whispered. “Kiss you like I need you to breathe, all while my fingers plunge in and out of your pussy, getting you wet and ready for me.” Pulling back abruptly, he let go of my hands and turned me so fast that when I faced the wall my hands automatically went against it. He yanked my hips back and said, “Then I’d sink to the floor behind you and fuck your sweet pussy with my tongue, sucking your clit until you came.” A soft kiss pressed to the back of one thigh and I almost came right there, imagining him doing exactly what he mentioned. He kissed the back of my other thigh as his hands squeezed the globes of my ass and I whimpered, the sound needy and desperate. “Fuck, sweetheart, you smell so good. I bet you taste just as sweet.”

As he stood, he pressed against me from behind and I could feel his hard cock touching my ass through layers of clothes. His hands drifted to my chest, squeezing my breasts through my thing tank top. “I could fuck you from behind,” his hips pulled back, then dry fucked me a few times, “but I prefer face to face.”

Spinning me again, his hands went to my ass. “Hands around my neck, Meg.” After I did, he lifted me up and I instinctively wrapped my legs around him. He pushed my back against the wall and started undulating his hips back and forth, stimulating fucking me. “God, baby girl, your tight little pussy would feel so good on my cock.” I couldn’t stop the gasps and moans that erupted from me. Every time his hips moved forward, the hard ridge of his cock scraped my clit, sending wave after wave of pleasure through my body. “I could fuck you like this, make you come, but we still have more to explore.”

He carried me away from the wall, walking toward the bedroom. His tone was serious as he asked, “How are you doing, Megan? Is this helping?”

It took several seconds before I felt focused enough to reply. It didn’t help that with every step he took his cock rubbed against me. “I’m good. And yes, this is helping.”

A cheesy smile crossed over his face. “Good. I’m glad.” Once we got to his room, he set me down on my feet, cupping my cheek with his flesh hand. As his thumb scraped along my skin, he murmured, “You really are absolutely gorgeous.” Pressing his forehead to mine, he sighed deeply, his hands resting on the curve of my hips. We stood like that for a couple of minutes, just staring into one another's eyes. It took all my willpower not to kiss him, because I couldn’t - no, wouldn’t - do that to him.

Pulling back, he turned me around again, walked me over to the bed, and pressed down between my shoulder blades until my hands were on the mattress. A small moan escaped when his hips connected with mine, his cock pressing more fully to my aching pussy. “This position can be a lot of fun,” he stated, voice husky and deep. Moving his hips to simulate fucking, he groaned with each pretend thrust. “It’s a good angle to hit the g-spot just right.” As he continued to dry fuck me, one of his hands snaked its way around my hips, until his fingers pressed against my clit and he rubbed lightly. His voice cracked as he added, “Plus, it’s easy to do this.”

As he rubbed, I got closer and closer to orgasming from just this. Fuck, just having him hump me was enough to get me off. Him touching my clit drove me to distraction. But then he stopped - just before I came - standing me up and turning me around so I faced him. He pushed me back onto the bed and grabbed my legs, lifting them up toward my body. Spreading them, he stepped closer and his hips pressed against mine once again. “Put your hands under your knees, sweetheart.”

I did as he commanded, keeping them bent and grabbing my knees, holding them spread lewdly. Thank God I was wearing panties or he would have been able to see more than he bargained for in this position. Looking down at me, he groaned loudly, placed his hands on my thighs near the juncture between them, but didn’t start moving. “God, baby girl, seeing you all splayed out like this for me… Fuck.”

He started dry fucking me again, this position giving him even more access than before. By this point, his cock was so hard it had created a large bulge in his jeans, and every time he thrust forward, that bulge pressed my shorts and panties into my pussy. I couldn’t tell if he noticed, but I sure did. One of his hands drifted to my clit again and his thumb rubbed as he pretended to fuck me. “Are you gonna come from this, baby girl? Are you gonna clench down on my cock, screaming my name?”

His hips moved faster, as did his thumb. Having been on the edge for two days, and then everything we had just done, I was so close. In the end, it was the feral look of lust in his eyes that drove me over the edge, an orgasm crashing through me. “BUCKY!!” I yelled, eyes rolling back in my head as my pussy convulsed.

He stopped his movements, prying my fingers from my knees. “That’s good acting,” he said softly. I wanted to tell him it wasn’t an act, that I wanted him to fuck me for real, but I couldn’t. His voice perked up. “Next position. Get on your hands and knees on the bed.”

Flipping onto my stomach, I shakily climbed to my knees and moved onto the middle of his giant mattress, looking over my shoulder at him. Fuck! The look in his eyes made my pussy flutter again, so I wiggled my ass at him. “Coming, big boy?”

His eyes narrowed and he jumped on the bed, growling as he grabbed my hips and slammed his into mine. Over and over, he dry fucked me hard and demanding, moans and growls emanating from his throat. “Fuck, baby girl, you like this position?” I moaned in the affirmative, dropping my head down to the bed. When I did that, his cock hit my pussy with every thrust, but also rubbed against my clit. “Shit, sweetheart.” He stopped thrusting, pressing himself against me. “Let’s try something else.”

Moving over to the side of me, he laid down on the bed and lifted me on top of him. “I wanna try something. You still doing okay?” I nodded, unable to speak. He gripped my hips. “Straddle my head, sweetheart.”

“Bucky?” My voice rose at the end of his name. I was so confused. We were just playacting, or at least, we were supposed to be.

“Do you trust me?”

“More than anything.”

“I want you to have lots of ideas for your story. Straddle my head, Meg. I promise, it’ll be fine.” As I scooted up he moved me up, pulling me down until my pussy was right above his mouth. Lifting his head, he pressed a kiss to the fabric. “If we were doing this for real, you would be naked and I would suck you until you came again.” He kissed the fabric again and groaned, “Fuck, you smell so fucking good. Would you come from this, baby girl? If I fucked your pussy with my tongue? If I licked your sweet clit?”

Lifting me again, he pulled me lower down his body until my hips were right over his. “I’ve got a few things to show you here. First, is how I can fuck you when you’re on top.” Holding my torso against his, he started pistoning his hips up and down, jean covered cock pressing into my pussy. “Fucking hell,” he groaned. He kept that up for a minute or two before stopping and releasing my back.

I felt like jello. The orgasm I’d had earlier had taken a lot out of me, but I was still so fucking horny, I knew my shorts had to be soaking wet. He ran his hands over my arms, then said softly, “I want you to put your hands on my chest and move like you’re fucking me. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?”

Pushing myself up a little, I transferred my hands to his hard chest and started moving my hips back and forth slowly, enjoying the feeling of him pressing into me with every backward movement. Leaning forward like this, my clit also rasped against his jeans through my shorts, and I felt another orgasm coming on. “Fuck, Bucky,” I moaned.

When I started moving a little faster, he gripped my hips and held me in place. His voice sounded so hoarse, it made me think that maybe, just maybe, he was feeling something too. But I couldn’t hope for that, all it would do was break my heart. “Sit up all the way, baby girl.” I did and he moved me until I was directly on his hard cock. He groaned and swallowed hard. “Cup your tits, sweetheart, then start bouncing up and down on my cock.”

He kept a hold of my hips, squeezing lightly as I bounced up and down, tweaking my nipples through my tank top as I did. Fuck, I wanted to take off my shirt, touch my bare skin. I wanted to fuck his cock for real, see if he was as big as he felt. The orgasm started building back up again and I closed my eyes, trying to enjoy the moment. But almost as soon as it was going to start, he stopped my movement again. “One more, baby girl. Lean back, put your hands on my thighs, then I want you to move.” As I did, he growled, “Fuck, seeing you like this, fucking me… your tits bouncing… fuck.”

A hand drifted away from my hip and between my thighs and he touched my clit again, rubbing through the material of my shorts. “Bucky… Bucky… Bucky…” I chanted over and over again. His cock pressed my shorts into me, his thumb rubbed against my clit, sending me spiraling upward. I was so close. So close. All I wanted to do was come. God, if he stopped again, I might scream.

His hand left my clit and I felt it go beneath my shorts, but stay above my panties. I gasped when his hand touched the cotton of my underwear, rubbing my clit even harder than he had before. “Fuck, baby girl, you’re so fucking wet. Is this all for me?”

“Fuck!! Bucky!! YES!!” I moved faster, moving my hips back and forth, up and down, wanting to fuck him so bad.

“I want you to come for me, Megan.” When he said my name, my eyes popped open and looked down at him. The look in his eyes, God, it was so passionate, so full of… I couldn’t tell exactly what, but it sent shivers down my spine. He growled, “Come for me.”

My back arched and I pressed down hard, orgasm hitting me harder than the first one had. He kept rubbing my clit as I screamed, “BUCKY!!!” Over and over I came, his thumb rubbing me until I started to shake, tears streaming down my cheeks and I fell forward, convulsing against his chest.

Removing his hand from my shorts, he rubbed my back and then lowered me to the bed. This time when he spoke, he sounded calm and collected, completely the opposite of the rest of the time we’d been together. “So I don’t know about you, but I think reading that would be hot. Do you think that helped you come up with ideas for your story?”

I wanted to scream at him. Ask him why he was doing this to me. I wanted to cry. Fuck, I wanted to rip his clothes off and make him fuck me into next week. But all I could do was nod weakly.

“Good. I’m glad.” He adjusted himself in his pants and grinned. “Sorry again about my… you know. It’s just a normal reaction to this type of situation. You were really good at being in character the whole time. I’m impressed. You should have gone into acting instead of writing.”

Fuck, now I definitely wanted to cry. Rolling off the bed, I stood on shaky legs and plastered a smile on my face. “I’m gonna go write some notes before I forget. Thanks for all the help.”

“Anytime, Meg. Anytime.”


	3. Lesson Three - Kink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important note: I only know a little about BDSM, so anything I got wrong is my own fault. I do know that the most important thing with BDSM is consent, so I tried to write that in here the best I can. If you want to know what BDSM looks like when it's made to look like something it's really not, read the Fifty Shades trilogy. But I tried my best to make it as accurate as possible.

Three days had passed since Bucky and I had all but fucked. For my part, I avoided him the best I could without making it obvious. My heart couldn’t take being in such close proximity to him. Of course, trying to avoid him got me some unavoidable questions from the others, after all, we were best friends. So in the end, I just went back to pretending he didn’t make my heart beat faster. That he didn’t make me wet just by existing.

It was movie night. A few times a week - if everyone is home - we got together and tried to get Steve and Bucky caught up on movies they missed. We were watching  _ The Sound of Music  _ because Tony thought it would make their heads explode. I sat sandwiched between the two super-soldiers on the couch underneath a blanket, Bucky’s arm around my shoulders as I snuggled up against him.

When Julie Andrews started singing  _ My Favorite Things,  _ Bucky turned his head and whispered, “Ready for lesson three?”

My breathing hitched and moisture flooded my pussy. “We’re watching a movie, Buck.”

“This is the best time to do it, while everyone else is busy. Besides, singing Nazis aren’t really my thing.” His breath tickled my ear, the fingers on his flesh hand traced patterns on my shoulder. “Put on something comfortable. And wear a thong.” Standing, Bucky faked a yawn and informed the group, “Sorry guys, I’m exhausted. It’s been a long day so I’m just gonna go to bed.”

“You don’t want to finish the movie?” Steve asked.

“Maybe another time.”

After Bucky left, I sat there for a few minutes, trying to not make it look like I was following him out. The last thing I needed was the others knowing that we were doing… whatever it was we were doing. I didn’t bother saying goodnight, just got up and walked away. They probably thought I was going to the bathroom, but I didn’t care. All I could think about was Bucky and what he planned to do to me.

The first thing I did was go to my room and take off my leggings and sweater. I wasn’t sure why he had specified me wearing a thong, but I put one on, then topped it with shorts and a tank top. Stalling, I sat on the foot of my bed, wondering what the fuck I was doing. My publisher had been thrilled with the edits I’d made to my novel, happy to send it in for final review, so there was no reason to do this anymore. But I wanted this. Oh God, did I want this. The only thing that would make it better is if I had the guts to tell Bucky the truth. That I was in love with him and wanted him for real.

Standing, my feet carried me to his apartment where I knocked and he answered immediately, almost like he’d been waiting for me to show up. When he let me in, I couldn’t stop staring. During the previous encounters, he’d been wearing jeans and a t-shirt, but this time… this time he wore only a pair of low slung jeans, his impressive chest muscles on display.

Keeping his distance, he locked the door and gave me a seductive smile. “Alright, Meg, today's lesson is on kink. This is in case you want to make your characters step outside their comfort zone.”

“Kink?” I asked, face heating up.

“Kink,” he reiterated. Holding out his hand, I took it and he led me over to the couch where we sat down facing one another. After he’d released my hand, he asked, “How much do you know about BDSM?”

“A little,” I responded tentatively. When he kept looking at me expectantly, I sighed. “I know what it stands for and the little I’ve explored about it was in a porn I came across that had whips and chains and women tied up in uncomfortable looking positions being used.”

“And how did that make you feel?”

God, was he asking if it turned me on? How was I supposed to respond to that? Gulping, I stammered, “Uh… I… It seemed a little scary and violent.”

He took my hand again, rubbing his thumb on my palm. “Hey, don’t worry, we’re not doing that. There is a whole range of things that can be done, from light spanking to whips. Tonight is simply about giving you a small taste of what it is.” Reaching up with his metal hand, he cupped my cheek. “Megan, the thing you need to know is that during the scene you hold all the power, not me. From the outside, it may seem like I do, but it’s your reaction and words that drive how far I take it. If something doesn't work for you, or it makes you uneasy, we don’t do it. Simple as that.”

The sincerity in his tone made me feel a little bit better. “What are you planning on doing to me?”

“I picked up a couple of toys for today.” Standing, he stated, “I’ll be right back.” After going into the bedroom, he came out with a small plastic bag. Sitting down, he took out the first item. “This is a flogger. Feel the strands, they’re soft and pliable. It can sting if you’re hit hard enough, but it won’t leave welts or bruises like leather could. The worst you'll get are some light red marks.” He handed it to me and I caressed the felt-like strands while he took out another item. “This is a ball gag. It goes in your mouth and buckles around your head so…” He must have seen my face blanch because he tossed it onto the coffee table. “We won’t use that.”

“I’m sor…”

His finger tapped under my chin, forcing me to look back up at him. “You hold the power, Megan. We won’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Today is about exploring, finding things that you can add to your story, but we’re still not going to do anything that you don’t want. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Pulling out the next thing, he held it up and I saw what looked like an industrial back massager with a power cord attached that would plug it into the wall. “This is a Hitachi vibrator. Trust me, you’ll love this one.” His grin turned cocky. “You’ll really love this. Other than that, there are some restraints which I’ve already attached to my bed and my hand.”

“Your hand?” My voice cracked. “How is your hand a… a… sex toy?” The last words were barely above a whisper.

Leaning over, he whispered into my ear, “I’m gonna use my hand to spank you, Mega. Over and over again, until your ass is nice and pink.” Sitting back, he put the toys into the bag, ignoring the fact that I was squirming on the couch trying to relieve some of the ache in my pussy. “There is one thing that might be a little… a little… weird.” He kept looking away from me, so I reached out and turned his face to mine, not wanting him to hide. “So the reason I asked you to wear a thong is… Fuck, Megan, I don’t how to…”

“Just say it, Bucky.”

“When I spank you and use the flogger, you need to be undressed.”

“You want me naked?” I asked, my tone timid.

He shook his head. “First, you won’t be naked, you’ll be wearing the thong. It’s so I don’t accidentally hurt you. I could spank you over clothes, but the problem with that is that if I can’t see your skin I could hit you too hard, or hit the same spot too many times, and leave a bruise. I’m not willing to risk hurting you for modesty. That's the last thing I want to do. Okay?” I nodded and his gaze turned serious. “Do you have a safeword?”

“Safeword?” I parroted back, confused.

He sighed and mumbled something in Romanian before saying, “When you’re taking part in a scene with someone, the most important thing is trust.”

“I trust you, Bucky. Implicitly.”

The tension in his shoulders eased. “I trust you too, Meg. But even with trust, the point of a scene is sometimes to push people to their limits. And without prior knowledge, you may not know what the other person's limits are.” He ran a hand through his shaggy hair, chest muscles bunching and moving as he did, sending a pulse of longing through me. “Even if you have discussed it, pushing those limits can help you explore things you might not otherwise. The safeword is for if I push you too far. Now, during the scene, I may ask for your color. Green will let me know you’re good and to keep going. Yellow means that I need to give you a second to process everything before continuing, that I’m hitting too close to the edge of your boundaries. Red is full-stop and will end the entire scene immediately. A safeword will do the same thing. You can say it at any time and I will stop.”

“Why can’t I just use red then?”

“Because you might beg me to beat your ass red, and if you do should I stop or keep going?” He lifted his hand up to my face and cupped my chin, running his thumb over my lips. “A safeword is something you’d never say during sex, so when I hear it I know exactly what it means. There is no misconstruing what you’re trying to tell me.”

Taking a deep, steadying breath, I tried to decide what to use. Looking into his brilliant blue eyes, I used the one thing I knew he would never ignore. “Winter.”

“Winter?” Bucky’s eyebrow rose, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “Is that what you want to use?” I nodded. “Only you would choose my old moniker as a safeword.” His voice deepened, turning husky. “Good girl. One more thing before we get started. I know we are just playacting, but I want you to do like you did last time, act as your character would.”

“Okay.”

“Which means asking for permission to come.” My eyes widened and he closed the gap between us, letting me feel his hard cock pressing against the fly of his jeans. “You will address me as sir, and when you want to come, you will say ‘please, sir, may I come?’ Do you understand?”

“Yes,” I muttered.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good girl.” He stood and pulled me up off the couch, his hands gripping my hips and pulling me closer, lowering his face to mine. Just like before, he didn’t kiss me. This time, however, I almost begged him to do it. If he hadn’t moved his mouth to my neck, biting the soft skin there, I would have pleaded with him to just kiss me already. His hands moved to my ass and he squeezed hard, making me moan… loudly.

Abruptly, he pulled back and grabbed my hand before picking up the bag and pulling me into the bedroom. “Stand here, beautiful. I’m just going to put the bag down.” He walked away, I heard him set it down, then he was back in front of me again. “On your knees,” he commanded.

I fell to the ground, looking up at him expectantly. When he reached down with his metal hand and petted my hair, the soft look in his eyes made my heart break slightly. “Good girl, you follow orders so well. Put your hands behind your back, one hand holding the opposite wrist.” As I complied, he added, “Spread your knees a little wider, sweetheart. Not so wide you’re uncomfortable, but far enough apart that you can’t squeeze your legs to get off.”

Face burning, I spread my knees and whimpered, wishing I had something touching me. Fucking hell, I was so horny, more aroused than I had been in a long time. When he dug both hands into my hair, his next words came out hoarse. “Now, open your mouth wide, baby girl.” Digging his fingers more tightly into my hair, he brought my face forward until it was almost touching his cock. I could see his hard bulge, begging for release, and I couldn’t help myself, I had to try something. While looking up at him, I darted my tongue out, licking a line up his jeans right where his cock was. When he gasped, I did it again. “Megan, what are you doing?” he moaned, voice cracking.

“Staying in character,” I replied saucily. Then I did it again, this time forcing my head forward so I could mouth at his cock through the thick fabric of his pants.

Gripping my hair even tighter, he pulled me back with a tug and chided, “Only good girls get orgasms. Are you a good girl, Megan?”

“Yes, sir,” I moaned. I opened my mouth again, this time keeping my tongue inside.

Dragging my head forward, he pressed himself against my open mouth, groaning. “Fuck, baby girl, I would love to see you swallow my entire cock. I would hold you here, cock hitting the back of your throat until tears streamed down your cheeks. Then I would pull out,” he moved his hips back briefly, “to let you breathe before I did it again. Would you suck my cock like a good girl? Would you let me fuck your face, shoot my cum down your throat?”

“Yes, sir,” I mumbled, the jeans making it hard to speak.

“Fuck, beautiful.” He stepped back and pulled me up gently by the hair until I stood. When I looked at his face, the serious look was back. “Remember your safeword?”

“Winter.”

Turning me toward the bed, he said, “One more thing, and then we’ll get started for real.” Stepping behind me and pointed to the bed, directing my attention to the four black restraints, one on each corner of the bed. The pillows and comforter were absent, the only things on the bed his fitted sheet and the restraints. “Those have velcro, so if you pull hard enough you should be able to break out of it. I want you to climb onto the bed so we can see if you’re strong enough. If not, we won’t use them.”

Moving away from him, I sat on the bed with my arm out, waiting for him to attach the restraint. It had padding on the inside, so it didn’t hurt at all. Pulling lightly, it didn’t open. He chuckled, “Harder than that, sweetheart. They’re meant to be hard to get out of, but not impossible. That way if something happens you can still get free without my help.”

Pulling with all my strength, I heard a loud rip when the velcro separated. Crouching down by the bed, Bucky picked up my hand, touching my wrist as he turned it over, presumably looking to see if it had hurt me. Touching his cheek with my other hand, I said softly, “Green, Bucky.”

He stood and smiled. “I’m going to turn my back. Go ahead and get undressed and lay face down on the bed.”

When he no longer faced me, I sat there for a second before standing and taking off my tank and shorts. What would he do if I begged him to turn around? How would he react? Before moving back to the bed, I stepped behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist, my bare chest pressed against his bare back as I placed a kiss between his shoulder blades. “Thank you, Bucky.”

“What for, Meg?” His hand reached up and rubbed an arm.

“For helping me out. I know this can’t be comfortable for you.”

“Meg,” his voice cracked, “I would do anything for you. Anything.” He sighed. “Are you still green, Meg?” I mumbled an affirmative. “Get on the bed and spread your legs and arms to the four corners of the mattress and let me know when you’re situated.”

I released him and did as he asked, feeling incredibly exposed, but also insanely aroused. My head was turned to face him so I could breathe, and I murmured, “You can turn around.”

As he did, his eyes widened and I saw him swallow hard. “Fuck, Meg, you look… Fuck.” He walked around the bed strapping me down, barely touching my skin. Then I heard the bag rustle and a drawer open and he tied something to my thigh. “It’s just the Hitachi, sweetheart. I’m tying it to your leg so it doesn’t move. We’re not going to turn it on just yet, I want you to see what the flogger and spanking feel like first.” He must have picked up the flogger, because I felt the soft strands trail down my back, sending shivers down my spine. “Color?”

“Green,” I croaked out.

The strands disappeared and then hit my back lightly, moving up and down my flesh as he hit me over and over. When it came down a little harder, it stung. Not real pain, just a slight stinging sensation that went away quickly. I didn’t wait for him to ask, I just said quickly, “Still green.”

The flogger disappeared and I felt his flesh hand caress my ass. When his metal one touched the other cheek and they started squeezing, spreading them apart, I moaned loudly and thrust back, trying to get him to give me more. “Patience, baby girl. Patience.” His flesh hand came down on my ass, making a loud cracking noise, but it didn’t sting any more than the flogger had. To be honest, having his hand that close to my pussy made me wetter than I thought possible. When he smacked the other cheek, this time I moaned. “Color?”

“Green!” I yelped as he spanked me again. “Green!”

That’s when he turned the Hitachi on and my body jerked. It was the loudest vibrator I’d ever heard, and even though it was on the lowest setting, my orgasm was fast approaching. I felt his mouth by my ear. “Hand or flogger?” he growled.

This was the choice I had to make. Keep it more clinical, or indulge in my fantasy. His hand caressed my ass as the vibrator sent me higher and higher. Choosing my fantasy, I whimpered in response, “Hand.”

He pulled back and his hand came down on my ass, again and again, never in the exact same spot twice. Each smack pressed the vibrator harder against my clit. As my skin heated up from his hand, I knew I was going to come. “Please sir, may I come?” I pleaded, rotating my hips against the vibrator.

“Come!” he commanded, smacking my ass once more.

I turned my face into the bed and screamed as a massive orgasm hit me and kept coming. The vibrator buzzed against my sensitive clit, sending pulse after pulse of pleasure ripping through me. After what seemed like forever, the wand was shut off and untied from my leg. I felt Bucky climb onto the bed between my legs and he pressed a kiss between my shoulder blades. “How are you doing, Meg?”

“Green,” I mumbled.

“I didn’t ask color,” he chuckled. “How are you doing?”

Another kiss to my back, lower this time. My voice was hoarse from screaming as I said, “M’good, Buck.”

“Good.” He kept pressing gentle kisses to my back, getting lower and lower until he pressed a kiss to my ass and I shuddered. “Your skin is such a pretty shade of pink, baby girl.” Several more kisses to my flesh as he moved downward. When he kissed the inside of my thigh, inches from my wet pussy, I groaned. “I think turnabout is fair play, what do you think?” he asked, then I felt his tongue lick my pussy through the thong.

“Oh... fuck!” I pushed back against him, trying to get more friction. He did it again, then attached his mouth to my clit through the fabric and sucked. My hips shook as he brought me closer and closer to another orgasm. “Fuck, baby girl, you taste so good.” His hand snaked up my thigh and he slipped a finger inside my underwear and I stilled. He asked tentatively, “Color?”

God, I wanted to say green, to shout it from the rooftops. I wanted to plead with him to fuck me, to make me his. But if we blurred that line, if his mouth actually touched me down there… I didn’t know if I’d be able to recover. “Yellow,” I replied meekly.

Instantly, he removed his fingers and pulled back, but I could still feel his hands on the outside of my thighs. He moved slowly, trailing his fingers up the sides of my torso as he peppered kisses on my spine. They ghosted over the edges of my breasts and then he pressed his hips flush against my aching pussy. Before moving, he asked again, “Color?”

“Green,” I moaned, rubbing against his hard cock. One of his hands dug into the hair at the base of my skull, pulling my head off the bed as his hips started moving, slowly at first. The louder my moans got, the harder and faster he went until he was pounding as much of his jean covered cock into me that he could. “FUCK!!” I yelled, another orgasm about to hit me like a mack truck. “Please, Bucky, I need to come,” I whined. “Please! Oh, God! Bucky…”

He pulled my head up a little higher and leaned over my back, growling into my ear as his hips pistoned against me, “Come for me, Megan. Scream my name.”

“BUCKY!!” My entire body stiffened as I cam, pussy pulsating harder than it had the previous time. “Fuck, Bucky,” I sobbed as he released my hair, halting the movement of his hips. He was still pressed against me, just as hard as he had been, but he didn’t move, just trailed his hands up and down my back soothingly while I calmed down.

I felt the bed dip as he climbed off and he unhooked each one of my limbs, moving them to a more natural position. A drawer opened and shut and he straddled my thighs. When both his hands touched my back, they were oily. “What’re you doin’, Buck?” I mumbled.

“This is aftercare, sweetheart. Just let me take care of you.” He started massaging my back with long soft strokes, focusing his strength on the areas that needed it. He even massaged my ass, the feeling pleasant after what he had just done.

I must have dozed off while he massaged me because I came to with him slipping my arms into one of his dress shirts. Once both my arms were in, he tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead softly. “How are you feeling, Meg?”

“Green, Buck.”

He chuckled. “Can you stand up?” I nodded and pushed myself up onto my knees, then shook my head. When my fingers went to the buttons to do them up, they wouldn’t cooperate. He moved my hands out of the way and did it for me. “Meg, I…” His voice trailed off and he frowned, then shook his head. Helping me to my feet, he picked up my clothes and handed them to me. “You should go and get some sleep.”

I wanted to ask what he had been about to say, but I couldn’t. We had already gone way too far into this game we were playing, I didn’t want to know what had made him frown like that. So I just stepped forward and gave him a soft hug, then quickly left the room. Maybe a good night's rest would help me to get over my infatuation.


	4. Lesson Four - Slow Burn

It had been two weeks since Bucky had given me the best orgasms I’d ever had in my entire life. Two weeks since we crossed a line that made our friendship a little weird and awkward. We hadn’t been avoiding one another, but it was almost as if we knew we’d passed the point of no return.

But then, while I was cooking breakfast, he came up behind me and whispered in my ear, “Lesson four?”

Instinctively, I leaned back against him, sighing when he wrapped an arm around my waist. “Bucky?” I questioned.

“Last lesson, sweetheart. I think you’ll like this one.” His hand moved from my stomach to the front of my shorts, making me curse the fact that I hadn’t worn underwear. “This is called the slow burn. I’m gonna turn you on until you can’t take it anymore and beg me to make you come.” His fingers found my clit and he rubbed through the fabric. As I moaned, he rubbed a little faster. “Do you like that?”

Footsteps approached and he backed up, moving over to the cupboard to grab a mug for coffee. Leaving me standing there flushed and turned on. Steve entered the kitchen and gave me a weird look. “Hey, kid, are you doing okay? You look like you might be getting sick.” He laid the back of his hand against my forehead. “You don’t feel hot.”

Bucky snickered from the side. “She’s fine, Stevie. I just told an inappropriate joke and it made her blush.”

For the rest of the day, Bucky would touch me when people weren’t watching. Trailing his fingers over my arm, up my thighs, over my clit, a kiss to my neck… By the time we were all sitting down for movie night, I was about ready to beg him to fuck me. I couldn’t take any more. My body was thrumming with need and my heart was confused.

I sat in the corner of the couch with a blanket over me, Bucky pressed up against my side, one of my legs draped over his. His metal hand was beneath the blanket, resting on my thigh. It didn’t move, but just having it there made it hard for me to concentrate on the movie.

He leaned over and whispered, “Remember to be quiet. The others will be able to hear you.” Then his fingers trailed up my thigh and under my shorts. When he found bare flesh, he groaned, “Fuck, baby girl, you’re not wearing any underwear?” Trailing a finger between my labia, he added, “You’re so fucking wet.”

When his fingers started playing with my pussy, I closed my eyes, leaning back against the couch just letting myself enjoy the moment. But the longer it went on, the more I wanted to cry. I couldn’t do this anymore. I was madly in love with my best friend who didn’t feel the same. It broke something in me to have him acting like a lover. When his finger dipped inside of my pussy my eyes popped open and I muttered, “Winter.”

He stilled. “Meg?”

“Winter,” I said louder. Pulling away, I jumped off the couch, trying to hide the fact that tears were forming in my eyes. Everyone had turned to look at me, but I only noticed Bucky’s sad face. “Winter,” I muttered once more before turning and running out of the room toward my apartment.

When I got into my room and slammed the door, I placed my back against a wall and slid down to the floor, sobbing. I wrapped my arms around my knees, pressing my face to my knees. Letting everything out that I’d bottled up inside, I cried. I cried for the love I felt, for the love I could never have. I cried for the friendship that I was pretty sure was over.

A knock sounded on the door and I heard Bucky say, “Meg?”

“Go away, Bucky,” I sobbed. “Just leave me alone.”

“Meg,” I could hear the pain in his voice, “I just want to talk to you. Please let me in so we can talk about this.”

“What’s going on, Bucky?” Natasha said, her voice close to the door. “Why are you outside Megan’s room? Why is she crying?”

I choked back another sob, trying to hide my sorrow. Bucky pleaded with me, “Please, Meg.”

“No,” I coughed out, leaning my head back against the wall. “There’s nothing to say.”

“Dammit, Bucky, what did you do?” Natasha asked, her voice harsh and unforgiving.

But he ignored her. “Megan…” I heard him curse in Romanian. “I don’t want to be friends anymore.”

I started sobbing harder, my body shaking from the force of them. Natasha barked out something at him in Russian and he responded in kind. Then he smacked the door, sighing loudly. “Sweetheart, I don’t want to be friends because I can’t stay just friends with you. I want more than that.”

Standing, I swiped at the tears on my face, trying to halt their flow. Taking several deep breaths, I tried to calm myself before shuffling over to the door. Opening it, I looked at the man standing before me. His eyes were red, a frown marring his handsome face. "What do you mean, you want more?”

He reached out stopping just before he touched me, dropping his hand back to his side. “Sweetheart, baby girl, I don’t want to be friends because I want you to be mine, forever. I love you, Megan. With every breath in my body, I love you.”

Natasha stood off to the side, a shocked look on her face. The tears started falling again and I had to clear my throat. I murmured, “You love me?”

He reached up and cupped my cheek, running a thumb over my cheek, wiping at the falling tears. “More than I thought possible. I’ve loved you for a while, I never said anything because I didn’t know how you felt. But I can’t be just friends anymore. I know you don’t feel the same, but…”

Placing a hand over his mouth, I closed my eyes, trying to reconcile what he was saying with how I felt. My heart still felt like it was broken, not understanding that the man I had wanted for so long stood before me, offering me the very thing I’d dreamed about for longer than I could recall. But I couldn’t let him walk away, not again. That would kill something inside of me. Opening my eyes, I rebutted gently, “I love you, Bucky.” When he closed his eyes and sighed, I moved my hand from his mouth to his chest. “I’ve been in love with you for months. The past few weeks have been hell. I thought you were just…” I looked over at Natasha, who was still there, watching us. “Can you go back to the others, Nat?”

She grimaced but nodded. “I’ll be watching the movie if you need me.”

After she left, I stepped out of the way, gesturing for him to enter my apartment. Once he did, I closed the door and walked over to the couch, sitting down. I waited for him to sit down, and then looking at my hands, I continued, “I thought you were helping me write my story. I thought that’s all it was. Do you know how hard it was for me to pretend like I didn’t want you to kiss me? To pretend my heart wasn’t breaking with each passing minute we were together?”

“Meg…”

“I love you, Bucky.”

He grabbed my hand and yanked me toward him, lifting me so I straddled his lap. Both of his hands raised and he cupped my face, drawing it toward his. “I’m sorry that I hurt you, sweetheart, that was never my intention. I did all that with you because I wanted to take what I could, knowing you didn’t feel the same. That’s why I pushed you the way I did, touching you the way I did. I had hoped you would show me that you felt the same.”

“And then I pushed you away.” My voice was melancholy.

“Don’t be upset, sweetheart, I’m not.” He pressed a gentle kiss to my lips, letting out a happy sigh. “I love you.” He kissed me again, darting his tongue out to lick my lips. When I sighed, mouth opening, his tongue slipped into my mouth and he kissed me with such passion and vigor that I felt all my sadness disappear. When he pulled back, he was breathless. “Baby girl, I love you. Say you’ll be mine.”

“Bucky, I was always yours. Now and forever.” I pressed a kiss to his lips, moaning as I felt his cock hardening in his pants. In between each word, I pressed a kiss to his lips. “I… love… you… so… fucking… much.”

Grabbing my ass, he grinned. “Hold my neck, baby girl.” After I did, he stood and carried me toward the bedroom. Once we were inside, he set me down slowly. “You know what I’ve wanted to do for the last two weeks, ever since you stopped me?” He slid his hands up to the bottom of my shirt and started lifting it over my head, tossing it on the floor. His gaze drifted to my breasts and he let out a ragged breath. Then, slipping his fingers under the waistband of my shorts, he lowered them as he went to his knees on the floor. Pressing a kiss to my pelvis, he said, “I want to lick your sweet little pussy until you come.”

“Bucky,” I moaned.

“Please, baby girl, say yes.”

“Yes.” I backed up until my legs hit the bed, then crawled backward until my head rested on the pillow. I widened my legs, dragging a finger between my labia. “Come here, my love. Make me scream your name.”

He shucked off his pants and shirt, standing before me unabashedly naked. Then he crawled onto the bed, laying on his stomach, head right by the apex of my legs. Tongue darting out, he licked a long stripe over my entire pussy, flattening over my clit. Sucking my clit between his lips, one of his hands drifted toward my pussy and his eyes met mine. I groaned, “Metal fingers, Bucky. Please.”

His mouth detached from me. “Are you sure, Meg?”

“Green, baby. I’m so green it’s not even funny.”

“As you wish.” He switched hands and slipped a metal finger inside of me, pushing in and out.

“More,” I groaned, wiggling my hips. He stuck in a second finger, then a third when I moaned even louder. “Bucky, please…”

“Please what, baby girl?”

“Fuck me.”

His fingers disappeared and he moved up until he was directly above me, holding himself just far enough above me that he wouldn’t crush me. Gripping his cock, he slipped the tip inside of me. “Is this what you want, baby girl?” He slipped a little further in. “Do you want me to fuck you?”

“God, yes.” I lifted my hips, trying to get him to go further in. “Please.”

“Too bad, Meg. I’m not going to fuck you.” He slid the rest of the way in, bottoming out and leaning down to kiss me deeply. “I’m going to love you.”

He started moving inside of me, hips going back and forth, so slowly. But no matter how slowly he went, having his eyes bore directly into mine while he made love to me was a thousand times better than anything I could have imagined. As he moved, he kissed me, then moved his mouth to my neck where he lavished at the sensitive skin.

Digging my hand into his hair, I pulled his head away from my neck and cupped his face with both of my hands. “I love you,” I gasped out.

“God, I love you,” he kissed me again, hips moving faster. He groaned, “Baby girl, I’m not going to last long. What do you need to…?”

I slid one hand down his chest and between our bodies to my clit, rubbing circles as he quickened his pace, keeping his eyes on me. Sliding my hand to the back of his head, I held him in place while he loved me. Gasping, I moaned, “Baby, I’m gonna come.”

“Come for me, baby girl,” he growled. “Come for me, Megan.”

“Bucky!” My eyes closed as I came, pussy pulsing on his cock. A tear rolled down my cheek and he thrust inside of me, groaning my name as he came. When he fell forward against me, another tear fell. For the first time in forever, I felt like I had everything I ever wanted. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him more fully on top of me as I cried.

Rolling to the side, Bucky slid out of me and pulled me on top of him, holding me against his chest. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I denied. “I’m just so happy. I never thought I would get to have this.”

His hand came up to my face and he lifted my head so I would look at him. “You have me, Megan, now and forever. I love you. All of you.”

“I love you too, Bucky.” I laid my head back against his chest, wrapping myself tighter around him. “I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just a short little story that I wanted to write. I know it's not as long as the things I normally post, but I got the idea from an erotic story on Literotica.com. It sparked the idea in me and I just had to write something similar. It's not the same (because that would be stealing), but it does have a similar premise. Just in case anyone wants to read that one (it's a Chris Evans fic) here is the link.
> 
> [Cure For Writers Block](https://www.literotica.com/s/cure-for-writers-block-take-two)


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